today this girl asked me if we were hiring and we are but i told her we weren’t because right now im the prettiest girl that works here and if she got hired i wouldn’t be anymore
(via fuckbitcheseatpizza)
is masturbating while smoking weed called masturblazing
no its called highjacking
guys no it’s weedwhacking
no its called dissapointing ur mother
(via fuckbitcheseatpizza)
- mom:ok u wait in line i forgot to get the milk
- me:ok
- me:
- me:
- me:
- me:mom where are you please
- me:mom please the line is moving fast
- me:mom i cant breathe where r u it's almost my turn
- employee:next
- me:
- employee:
- me:faints
